What do you do when you know someone will fight with you the next time you see each other?
says Sofia on Mar 29th 17 (#807286)
I'll try to keep calm, and not jump into the fire, but I'm not feeling confident about this.
I can be quick to anger when dealing with people I dislike.
says Sofia on Mar 29th 17 (#2532950)
I can certainly understand that. Negative people have a way of pushing your buttons.
says Balou on May 5th 17 (#2559769)
I have a relative like that, they think they have the answer for everything and they ask you questions just so that they can tell you you're wrong. I have avoided them for about ten years now. But I guess you're not in a position to do that?
says OzSurfer on Mar 29th 17 (#2532952)
says OzSurfer on Mar 29th 17 (#2532974)
Since this is me giving you advice...I can say what I want. Right.
You can be snippy and direct, too, missy. I've gotten used to it and I like you now...but there was a time when I wasn't sure.... And I understand you are at a different stage of your life...
My advice would be to: don't even let it register on the computer of your mind. Sail past it. Look at it with love. If you don't like that person...that's all about you...and you know that. There is something about that person that you can't stand about yourself. I understand that. You also can have a superior attitude.
says Sukiesnow on Mar 29th 17 (#2532963)
Well, I'll give you an advice of my own: don't try to analyze me and tell me about my life and my feelings, because all you just said really doesn't fit with the reality of the situation.
I dislike this person because she's not a good person - not because I see something of me in her. So, no, I don't know that, and neither do you. I didn't even explained the entire situation, so I'm not sure why are you trying to describe it. I asked what would you do if you had to face someone you knew wanted to fight with you, using a general view of my own situation. You didn't answer my question.
says Sofia on Mar 29th 17 (#2532975)
So...you asked; and I answered. That should at least be respected. You cannot control how people comment.
True. What I would do is the same as I instructed you to do...when I said "My advice would be to...etc."
says Sukiesnow on Mar 29th 17 (#2532985)
I'm not controlling any comment. I'm not disrespecting anyone. So, I don't see your point.
You told me how I feel and why I dislike this person. You were wrong and I said so. You told me how I should react in my situation. You didn't said that's how you react or if this ever happened to you. I give advises to people that I wouldn't follow, because we're different people, with different situations. You were speaking about me, not you. So that's why I said you didn't answer my question. Hope that helps to understand why I said what I said.
says Sofia on Mar 29th 17 (#2533108)
I don't see your point, either, Sofia. So that makes us even.
says Sukiesnow on Mar 30th 17 (#2533735)
Actually, it doesn't. I was being sarcastic and ignoring your attempts to insult me, because I wasn't sure if you were doing on purpose or not.
My point is - you are talking about me, not you. I asked about you.
says Sofia on Mar 30th 17 (#2533777)
No, that's wrong: it's not sarcastic. It's more like... playing coy? I think that's the correct expression. I just wanted to be sure I wasn't jumping the gun on this and assume things wrong.
says Sofia on Mar 30th 17 (#2533781)
But I did (after you pointed it out) say that "What I would do is the same as I instructed you to do...when I said 'My advice would be to...etc.'"
So here: I copied it out...what I wrote in the first comment. So I hope that is what you wanted to hear.
This is what I would do:
What I would do is: not to let it register on the computer of my mind. Sail past it. Look at it with love. If i don't like a person....that's more about me...everyone knows that... There is something about this person that I dislike about myself. I understand that.
says Sukiesnow on Apr 2nd 17 (#2536291)
I'm not sure why you're still replying as if I'm still asking for you to answer my post. I only asked once for you to answer (on my first reply).
My second reply was me explaining my reasoning behind my first reply. My third reply was me saying what my point is, since you said you didn't get it. On neither of those comments I was asking for you to answer the post. As you said, you answered right after I pointed it out - "What I would do is the same as I instructed you to do...". I saw that for myself.
says Sofia on Apr 2nd 17 (#2536697)
That's kinda rude, you have just insulted the OP and not answered the post...
says Platinum on Mar 29th 17 (#2533460)
I would do anything in my power to avoid that person.
says Tiffanee on Mar 29th 17 (#2532965)
I kind of want to do that, but I really just want to get this over with, and I can't really avoid this person for long.
says Sofia on Mar 29th 17 (#2532976)
Good morning, friend!
says StarzAbove on Mar 29th 17 (#2533111)
Avoid them if it's possible , if it's not the I would have no choice but to try and resolve the problem between us.
Been there a few times , sometimes it worked out great , sometimes not so great.
I'll give you two examples Sophia
eg # 1
One Irish Woman colleague under me at the time I kept arguing with became my Best friend. She got to know me after I had it out with her and saw me as less of a threat and we had a great time together going to Irish pub lock ins. XD
Drinking copious amounts of alcohol ,Singing at the top of our voices , Dancing on the bar and tables until the early hours of
the morning. Going back to hers and snogging her Brother (She didn't know about that little detail but I can't resist rugged Irish Men)
(I think my Liver went into rehab when Kay went back to Ireland.) :P
eg # 2
One South African Woman who was pissed I was seeing her ex , threw one of my ornaments across my flat at my head when I invited her up for a glass of Wine and a chat because of the tension that had been building between us.
Hell hath no Fury like a Woman Scorned
lolz things got very physical at that point I think I clumped Debbie with the Wine bottle but I can't be sure.
All I remember is a friend (a Guy) pulling us off each other or at least trying. lolz I think he got more than one whack too.
["Never come between two Women fighting unless you're wearing padding Guys. we're Vicious and will aim for your Balls everytime".] lolz
I should make this a Serenity thought for the day
(I think I realised things could never be resolved with Debbie when a mutual friend told me She was hoping I'd fall under a Bus and Die , so her and my fella could be together.) I actually watched my Back for a while because She was that Jealous I thought She may of been the one to push me under.)
Some Bitches are seriously unstable
says Darkest_Serenity on Mar 29th 17 (#2533038)
Lol xD I'm pretty sure things won't get physical.
says Sofia on Mar 29th 17 (#2533112)
I can't , believe the Cow picked up one of my favourite Ornaments and it was a gift , if She'd picked up one of my Collection I have now I'd of hung her out the window lolz
No one is allowed to touch my figurines , the wings break off my **** Fallen Angels so easily.
says Darkest_Serenity on May 5th 17 (#2559289)
I have people like that here on Amirite. No matter what I have said or not said, they arrive and start picking a fight. Sometimes I take the bait, big mistake, other times I just ignore them, and if it gets really bad they are blocked. I wonder about the mentality of people who only want to fight or disagree with others. Guess they lead a very miserable life.
They would be much happier if they got along with others or at least be civil to one another.
says StarzAbove on Mar 29th 17 (#2533088)
Try to be nice at first, then if that doesn't work ...
says Markymark on Mar 29th 17 (#2533103)
Lol, nah xD I'm not one to get physical.
says Sofia on Mar 29th 17 (#2533115)
I think the key is to shut them down before they get a chance to snipe at you. http://www.reactiongifs.us/wp-c..._nicholson.gif https://media.giphy.com/media/i...dyYo/giphy.gif :)
says Will_Janitor on Mar 29th 17 (#2533189)
says Sofia on Mar 29th 17 (#2533293)
Just go about my life, I can't change how other people behave. What can you do? No sense in worrying about. Tell them to kick rocks and go about my day. The end.
says ForkNdaRoad on Mar 29th 17 (#2533207)
I wish I could do that.
says Sofia on Mar 29th 17 (#2533299)
You can, you'll have to eventually. Just realize that no amount of arguing is going to make them stop talking about you, it will only feed them more ammunition. Letting it go is the quickest way to shut down that nonsense.
Besides, allowing it to bother you only punishes you and that's a pretty counterproductive thing to subject yourself to when you just want to exist in peace, right?
says ForkNdaRoad on Mar 29th 17 (#2533303)
I can't. There's just some things that I can't just say "Yeah, whatever". It doesn't always work.
I live with this person. And this is not just "she's talking about me" problem - yeah, I dislike that kind of attitude, but the real problem isn't just that. If it was, I would be fine.
says Sofia on Mar 29th 17 (#2533379)
Live with ? As a partner or sharer
says Platinum on Mar 29th 17 (#2533469)
says Sofia on Mar 30th 17 (#2533776)
Ah... that's a whole other creature altogether. And yes, I understand it's more than saying "whatever."
It's just that at the end of the day, being upset doesn't change anything, you know? It only punishes you twice.
says ForkNdaRoad on Mar 29th 17 (#2533576)
says Sofia on Mar 30th 17 (#2533775)
Sofia, you are very good with words.
I feel certain you can shut this woman down with words.
Choose them wisely and she will be left with her jaw dropped
says Carla on Mar 29th 17 (#2533212)
Let's hope so.
Have this happened to you? Not my situation. But someone you knew that wanted to pick a fight with you.
says Sofia on Mar 29th 17 (#2533297)
Oh, yes sofia.
My best defense is to just shut those people down.
And when there is a witness, it generally is the last time that shit comes from the same direction again.
Just know that no one....no one is superior to you. That kind of attitude will serve to make her appear...small
says Carla on Mar 29th 17 (#2533370)
This never happens.
says ChuckTom on Mar 29th 17 (#2533241)
Lucky you xD
says Sofia on Mar 29th 17 (#2533298)
I didn't mean to sound flippant(?)... I'm finally at a stage in my life where I don't have to go to school, work, family reunions, meetings, etc. so I rarely meet up with folks who piss me off no end.
says ChuckTom on Mar 29th 17 (#2533300)
Lol, I didn't thought you sounded flippant xD
I do have to deal with people I dislike. I can't avoid it, even if I wanted to.
says Sofia on Mar 29th 17 (#2533301)
I feel for you, S... you want to get along but some people are too proficient at being miserable and this sad fact makes your life's journey unnecessarily difficult.
says ChuckTom on Mar 29th 17 (#2533306)
If someone is not nice you can do a few things,
And you are.........? for people who are ugly and you don't see often. That makes them so insignificant as to not even register on your radar.
Are you having a bad day? for people who are just ugly and you want them off guard.
How long are we going to do this? for people who you want to resolve issues with.
And last and most effective just silence and a long pause, the just walk away.
says ozzyboy on Mar 29th 17 (#2533449)
Thank you :)
says Sofia on Mar 30th 17 (#2533779)
Just laugh at them...tell them you don't like them and to move on...with some people this will work and others it won't ..
says Platinum on Mar 29th 17 (#2533463)
It won't work with this one xD If I laugh, it will make everything worse. She's aware I don't like her already.
says Sofia on Mar 30th 17 (#2533780)
Not show up or show up and take it like a man
says Sunny_the_skeptic on Apr 21st 17 (#2550738)
I've never been in that position
says Trish on Apr 21st 17 (#2550856)
Try not to see them. I do not involve myself in fighting of any sort.
says LorraineTwevlehundredRaineTwelvehundred on Apr 21st 17 (#2550874)
I will avoid the person at all cost or ready to pick a fight if I'm angry too.
says MKDan on Apr 21st 17 (#2551103)
Make sure I see him first. :)
says DW2 on Apr 22nd 17 (#2551551)
give it 20 years....then send a card
says Freeranger on Apr 22nd 17 (#2551644)
Lol. We're not close enough to send cards to each other xD
says Sofia on May 3rd 17 (#2557851)
bleddy hell.....I hear tin cans and sting have certain properties?
says Freeranger on May 4th 17 (#2558396)
Some people believe they raise their self-worth by lowering others. One of my sister's married such a person. Sometimes I can avoid him. Sometimes I can't. When I can't, I keep his motivation in mind. His behavior then looks more pathetic than antagonistic. Another strategy that works for me is getting my point across with pseudo humor. Like, "Hey I have an idea. Why don't you use (random person) as a human doormat today"?
says PhilboydStudge on May 2nd 17 (#2557833)
Lol xD Does he get it?
says Sofia on May 2nd 17 (#2557840)
Yes, but it doesn't necessarily discourage him for long.
says PhilboydStudge on May 3rd 17 (#2558046)
says Masha on May 2nd 17 (#2557836)
I'd fight 'em.
says AliceD on May 3rd 17 (#2557854)
I'd back you up. :)
says DW2 on May 3rd 17 (#2557873)
I stay away from those kind of people.
if for some reason i can't.
I'll say what i need to say in as few words as possible...then walk away.
if i'm not allowed to walk away, then we have another problem.
I'm having a difficult time remembering when this last happened to me..
says DandyDon on May 3rd 17 (#2557856)
If you can't remember, then that's a good sign :D
I've already faced her, btw - It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be (I did raise my voice once though). It got resolved pretty quick.
says Sofia on May 3rd 17 (#2557875)
That's good, glad to hear that
says DandyDon on May 3rd 17 (#2557884)
Pimp slap her, bet she won't disrespect again
says C_ZAR1 on May 3rd 17 (#2557862)
Eh... not really my way of doing things xD
says Sofia on May 3rd 17 (#2557878)
Just kidding hon
says C_ZAR1 on May 3rd 17 (#2557913)
If you really can't avoid them then take a deep breath and be disarmingly nice.It will really annoy them!
Or just let rip like I would!😡
says Blewynanifail on May 3rd 17 (#2557978)
Phone them, make an appointment and sort out the trouble. I find when you approach people about them wanting to fight with you, they are not that keen on fighting anymore. Most people are cowards when confronted.
says voxlug on May 3rd 17 (#2557990)
I don't fight with anyone, argue maybe but I usually walk away instead.
says LorraineTwevlehundredRaineTwelvehundred on May 3rd 17 (#2558006)
I guess it depends on the situation, but I'd probably think about it constantly, probably feeling anxious, considering all the possible outcomes, trying to imagine what I can and should say, how I can and should react, going back and forth between options in my mind, wondering what's the best way to sort out the problem. ...And it would probably end up not being as bad as I had imagined (it's normal to overthink in this kind of situation).
But I'm glad to know that it's already over, and that it wasn't as bad as you thought it would be.
says primeiro on May 3rd 17 (#2558293)
Yeah xD Overthinking is something I do now and then.
says Sofia on May 4th 17 (#2558489)
I gear up with my facts, unless Im in the wrong, in that case I humbly apologize.
says Jaxxi on May 4th 17 (#2558486)
It is not easy to deal with such conflictual situations, which remind much of emotional or psychological abuse, and every case is different.
Personally, I would talk to a trustworthy friend or family member, ask for an expert's advice (or join an officially recognised self-help group) and take notes, collect evidence - if necessary - and arrange for an explanation in the presence or through the intermediary of a professional, but in certain situations, that might not work.
May I propose some information, which could be of interest?
says Marianne on May 5th 17 (#2559286)
It's nothing that serious - but thank you, Marianne :D
says Sofia on May 5th 17 (#2559288)
You're welcome, Sofia.
says Marianne on May 5th 17 (#2559324)
Are things sorted with this house mate Sofia ?
did you talk to her babe
says Darkest_Serenity on May 5th 17 (#2559295)
It's done. We sorted it out
says Sofia on May 5th 17 (#2559741)
I try to avoid such people. For example my ex always wants to pick a fight. That is why she is my ex!
says Balou on May 5th 17 (#2559510)
Good choice there.
says Sofia on May 5th 17 (#2559742)