When we speak ill of others we disservice ourselves. Those who hear and disagree see only a fool, while those who hear and agree have formed an alliance with that fool. (+11)
says ErasmusB_FurmanSmall on Jan 30th 18 (#817855)
Yeah, the fools alliance is pretty big.
says SynysterGates on Jan 30th 18 (#2717873)
I have no words for this THING
I choose who I label as Friends
needing someone's approval on my choses don't mean spit to me
says Neanderthal_Momdoer on Jan 31st 18 (#2717969)
Perhaps the world is better for your hermitage.
says ErasmusB_FurmanSmall on Feb 2nd 18 (#2719051)
I agree Erasmus, but a recent little clash with a friend has been weighing on my mind.. and it was so unnecessary. Not speaking ill of others, especially a friend, is part of the "code" I try to live by, but in this case I'm finding it really difficult to keep my hurt and anger bottled up.
says PhilboydStudge on Jan 31st 18 (#2718006)
Anger is venom and the pain is real. Choose, if you can, to know that your friend was a fool and try, if you will, not to align yourself with that behavior. My heart is with you.
says ErasmusB_FurmanSmall on Feb 2nd 18 (#2719052)
Yes! All I can do is choose how I respond. Do I internalize it the hurt and anger, complain about it, or let it go.
I guess I took the episode as a judgement of my character and, if I'm allowed to psychoanalyze myself, was probably concerned there is some truth behind his judgement. However, he very well may have just acted foolishly.
Thank you for the much needed perspective. I choose to let it go.
says PhilboydStudge on Feb 2nd 18 (#2719320)
Your awkward presentation implies that whether others agree or not - who ever speaks is a fool!
Is it a language thing? Or, was that your intent?
Personally, I think that if someone speaks the TRUTH about another, whether good or bad, that person has done a positive service to humanity.
says Budwick on Jan 31st 18 (#2718097)
I have found that speaking ill of actions or results suffices to impart the truth of the matter, while speaking ill of a person always disservices the speaker. We may scorn the actions of a man yet know in our heart that man is a gift from our creator even if we know not His plan.
says ErasmusB_FurmanSmall on Feb 2nd 18 (#2719055)
Yeah, yeah, yeah - we're all gifts from God.
Some of God's gifts turn out to be real **** though.
says Budwick on Feb 2nd 18 (#2719219)
This question speaks volumes, I read a lot on this site and see the exact thing you speak of and for being adults on here I see a lot of them act like obnoxious children with thier angry and hate filled words. Followers get no where in life.
says Rose_Bud on Feb 1st 18 (#2718638)
I would have no qualms about speaking ill of Hitler, Stalin, Mao, Idi Amin, Pol Pot, Kim Jong-un, etc., provided I was out of their political reach. Speaking thus would not do me a disservice; in fact, it would be derelict of me not to speak ill of such monsters.
says Thinkerbell on Feb 1st 18 (#2718740)
I choose to speak ill of their actions, which I find detestable. Their personage on the other hand, for me, is off limits. The fate of their soul rests with another.
says ErasmusB_FurmanSmall on Feb 2nd 18 (#2719058)
Erasmus, I don't presume to judge the fate of their souls; that indeed is up to Another, but nevertheless, those who do evil things of towering magnitude are in fact evil, in my opinion (even if they loved their mothers, as Hitler did).
says Thinkerbell on Feb 2nd 18 (#2719521)
That seems fair, however the value of disparaging them, rather than their deeds eludes me.
says ErasmusB_FurmanSmall on Feb 2nd 18 (#2719535)
Well, that's an interesting point.
There is no doubt that people who do evil things generally try to cover up their misdeeds, but why?
It may be that they don't want to risk going to jail, but many evil deeds don't carry criminal penalties. In that case, they fear what people will think of them as individuals, if their misdeeds become known.
"Ye shall know them by their fruits," whether for good or for ill, and I suspect fear of disparagement acts as a deterrent against evildoing in many cases.
says Thinkerbell on Feb 4th 18 (#2720445)
When a fool speaks, he thinks he is only speaking universal truths. He thinks anybody who disagrees with him is a fool. That makes it extremely difficult to work with him.
Or to put it another way, everything would be fine if you would all just agree with me. Even when I'm wrong, I'm more right than wrong.
says that_guy on Mar 13th 18 (#2732394)