Relationship Question: If you do not communicate your feelings for whatever reason, doesn't it only seem logical that your partner will also hold back theirs?
says Vrendowl on Jun 14th 18 (#820561)
It sometimes works that way, not always. I do think if one doesn't communicate openly and honestly with their partner, though, that they have no right to expect their partner to do so with them.
says Bozette on Jun 14th 18 (#2778456)
Some people have an inability to come true to their feelings, for whatever reason, whether it's a mental disorder or fear, but if there's one thing communicated, is that coming true with insecurities and everyone has at least one, can make it understandable why one is silent about eir feelings sometimes. We don't need couples therapy to work it out, but just need time to find a way to communicate it.
says Tanor_Faux on Jun 14th 18 (#2778484)
I have problems letting people near me.
These days, even more than previously, which was already bad enough.
says ZonkeyBalls on Jun 14th 18 (#2778527)
I went through a phase like this myself, when I seemed to be losing every person that was ever close enough to open my heart to.
says Vrendowl on Jun 14th 18 (#2778547)
No, I don't think that's a fair statement.
Some people make assumptions about what others think of them. Maybe they are right, maybe not.
Your logic would lead me to believe that if I shared my feelings that my partner must have shared theirs. Does not compute.
says Budwick on Jun 14th 18 (#2778546)
As I wrote in further explaining, someone has to be first. Also, the entire point of actually communicating erases any assumptions.
says Vrendowl on Jun 14th 18 (#2778555)
probably, but you have to
says TomboyJanet on Jun 14th 18 (#2778594)
It apparently doesn't matter what your feelings are if the other person doesn't feel the same way so why express how you feel...
says symplycurious on Jun 15th 18 (#2778843)
Every person is different, but yes there is probably a general trend like you're suggesting.
says Zolfie on Jun 15th 18 (#2778937)
depends on person but most of the time it goes that way
says WonderMan on Jun 17th 18 (#2779835)
I would say that, if a person feels like they need to hold back their feelings a little bit for whatever reason, that's not necessarily a bad thing, and the other person can agree to live with that. I guess it can be a matter of compromise, and it depends a lot on the nature of each relationship.
I'm not in a relationship, but, if I was, and I didn't communicate my feelings due to anxiety or whatever difficulty, I would be conscious that my partner might be doing the same thing. That can surely be nervewracking to realize.
But sometimes people feel like they can't just let their feelings out without understanding them better, and the only thing that can be done then is to ask for your partner's understanding on that, and to be understanding of your partner if they need to do the same.
says primeiro on Jun 17th 18 (#2779839)