Amirite?
now you can be right wherever you are.

Oh, I get it celebrities...being famous is exhausting... I can't go anywhere at work without someone recognizing me🙄 (+9)

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11 Comments

If ya don't use your broom like an air guitar at least once while cleaning the house...ya ain't cleaning house right🙄 (+9)

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9 Comments

After watching Worst Cooks in America...I am curious...what has been your worst kitchen disaster(s)?

LP, I ain't allowed in the kitchen (1)
I am perfect I don't make disasters (1)
I can't say...well one time I did this.... (0)
I have a few... (7)
Other (8)

51 Comments

If you get passed on the interstate by a Prius just know that is the football equivalent of getting tackled by the waterboy🙄 (+11)

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15 Comments

A bag of popsicle sticks $.88, a large onion $.99, a jar of caramel $2.00...watching your friend go for a bite because they think it is a caramel apple...priceless🙄 (+9)

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10 Comments

I have noticed I have developed a strange side effect while dieting...Seems I have gained supersonic hearing...I can hear a candy being opened through steel walls🙄 (+8)

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7 Comments

It is true things are not as good as the old days...took Harry Potter 9 books to catch a bad guy and only 30 minutes for Scooby to do it🙄 (+17)

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19 Comments

Someone asked how I made pizza so I told em...Phone, Menu, and Credit Card...judging by the look on their face they must have known it was that easy🙄 (+14)

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29 Comments

In the hustle and bustle of rush hour traffic if ya get the mitten instead of the finger ya know it is really cold outside🙄 (+10)

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6 Comments

I was reading that people lose their lives more to accidents with toasters than they do being killed by a shark...so for those of ya that go to the Ocean watch out for toasters in the water🙄 (+7)

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15 Comments

I can't help but sit here and wonder if the Baha Men ever found out just who let their dogs out🙄 (+13)

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14 Comments

Someone called and said "Do you have a few minutes to save the environment"...well I hung up because I am smarter than that and I know it will take longer than a few minutes🙄


7 Comments

Earlier at the store, I heard some guy bragging about his fancy hotel sweet...I hate to burst his bubble but those are just plain cheap mints they put on the pillows🙄 (+8)

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18 Comments

I have come to the conclusion that watching what I am eating isn't the problem when I diet...its watching what everyone else is eating that is the issue🙄 (+16)

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66 Comments

Everyone keeps telling me I need to eat in moderation but I have no idea what state that is even located in🙄 (+15)

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24 Comments

Back in my day, we didn't have a fancy computer with the net...we had to walk up the hill in the snow to tell someone their opinion was wrong🙄 (+22)

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61 Comments

For people that don't think I am a religious person should see me when they are reading off the Powerball Numbers🙄 (+5)

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12 Comments

Oh, my bad...I thought you were supposed to wait 30 days after eating to exercise...oops🙄 (+10)

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20 Comments

Well I can say the most difficult part of this whole juice cleanse is trying to juice a Snickers bar🙄 (+9)

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31 Comments

I might not be the sharpest tool in the shed but when a friend said to me the other day "what rhymes with orange...I said no it sure doesn't because I ain't that dumb🙄 (+5)

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41 Comments

A friend suggested that I needed a conversation piece for the living room can't decide on cotton candy machine or taco cart🙄 (+3)

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35 Comments

I ain't concerned with the whole throwing stone thing...I wanna know where people in glass houses hide when someone knocks on the door🙄 (+8)

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25 Comments

Just saw a sign that said "Free kittens"...that is just wonderful, no kitten should feel oppressed 🙄 (+18)

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14 Comments

I feel the bank teller was giving me a very judgemental look when I grabbed a sucker but I think after depositing $35 I have rightfully earned it🙄 (+14)

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9 Comments

I am starting to find my obsession with the internet to be getting alt of ctrl🙄 (+16)

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13 Comments

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