Amirite?
now you can be right wherever you are.

Whoever said 3rd time's a charm is such a fool...I checked my lotto ticket for the third time this morning and it is still a not a winner🙄 (+9)

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9 Comments

I left the window open for a little bit only to come back and find the entire cast of "A Bug's Life" producing their next movie🙄 (+7)

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7 Comments

American Express called this morning...Apparently they want me to leave home without it🙄 (+9)

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20 Comments

At the bank yesterday the teller asked me if I wanted large bills and I said nope normal size will do🙄 (+11)

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20 Comments

I will never understand why the waiter asks me if I want my coffee black...is there other colors to choose from?🙄 (+7)

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26 Comments

Ya know a friend of mine said going to the gym helps with decision making and ya know what...they were right. After going today, I decided I don't ever wanna go again🙄 (+13)

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31 Comments

My cooking skills must be unbeatable and make others highly jealous at the next family reunion I have been asked to bring napkins and paper plates🙄 (+10)

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5 Comments

Well I finally finished writing my new book just in time for the holidays called "50 Shades of Gravy"...I must say it is very saucy🙄 (+13)

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24 Comments

Here in the states we have our own "Running of the Bulls" we call it Black Friday shopping 🙄 (+17)

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20 Comments

If the cable company went into the home security business it would probably go something like this..."Thank you for calling, we will dispatch an officer to your home on Wednesday between 8am-Noon"🙄 (+17)

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31 Comments

Well I just wasted $29.99 on a straight jacket from eBay...thought I would look good in it but I just couldn't pull it off🙄 (+12)

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4 Comments

Every morning I start out doing 15 sit ups...I know what you are thinking "that ain't a lot" but I can only hit the snooze bar so many times🙄 (+13)

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21 Comments

I am still holding on to my winning mega millions ticket...I am scared my $10 winnings will make people treat me differently🙄 (+10)

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7 Comments

Well after using a pair for scissors, a Ginsu knife, a small gun, and light saber...I finally got to the cookies in the "Easy to Open" package🙄 (+16)

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40 Comments

Fox New is so fake...not one time have I seen them broadcast anything about foxes🙄 (+8)

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9 Comments

I like to live dangerously and not use spell checker because I don't want to appear week🙄 (+13)

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14 Comments

I always tip the wait staff but they never seem to appreciate my advice🙄 (+2)

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8 Comments

I am always thankful for the little things in life...like the fact that Tic-Tacs are not individually wrapped🙄 (+3)

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7 Comments

I watch the news sometimes and I see 20 year old's making millions and 80 year old's climbing Mt. Everest and here I am excited I can eat a cupcake in two bites🙄 (+8)

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6 Comments

I tried grilling a chicken earlier but he still isn't talking🙄 (+2)

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4 Comments

Well I just lost my Instagram account...apparently it's frowned upon to post the calories on users food pictures🙄 (+6)

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12 Comments

Well I am no longer welcome back at the casino...guess chocolate gold coins mess up the slots🙄 (+9)

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14 Comments

Why on Earth are gas station bathrooms locked anyways...are they terrified someone might go in and clean them🙄 (+7)

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19 Comments

Don't be silly I don't need a course in structural engineering...I learned all about that playing Angry Birds.🙄 (+6)

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6 Comments

Dear NSA I accidentally deleted an email on Tuesday could I get ya to forward another copy to me🙄 (+8)

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2 Comments

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