Amirite?
now you can be right wherever you are.

Dear NSA I accidentally deleted an email on Tuesday could I get ya to forward another copy to me🙄 (+7)

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2 Comments

Sharks are such misunderstood creatures...if someone entered my home in a Speedo I would probably attack them too🙄 (+8)

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2 Comments

I really dislike when Grammar Nazis single me out...it is almost like some sort of which hunt🙄 (+7)

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21 Comments

I don't care who you are there is no way to look cool when the doctor walks in and your in the middle of blowing up a rubber glove🙄 (+12)

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14 Comments

I am sitting here making this new recipe and it says chill for 30 minutes so I grabbed my sweet tea and kicked back waiting but not sure how this will help it🙄 (+8)

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11 Comments

Don't be silly of course I know the 4 food groups Canned, Frozen, Fried and Drive-thru🙄 (+7)

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6 Comments

If I sit in silence alone and hear a cricket what does a cricket hear when he is alone🙄 (+4)

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6 Comments

Change is always certain to happen...unless you are dealing with a vending machine🙄 (+9)

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7 Comments

If a bike cop goes to arrest someone what does he do with the suspect...tell em to get in the basket🙄 (+6)

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3 Comments

I just realized Dracula had some fine looking hair for a guy that couldn't use a mirror🙄 (+9)

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14 Comments

I am curious...how does a fire breathing dragon blow out his own birthday candles?🙄 (+8)

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18 Comments

I try to record a two hour race with my phone and can only get 15 minutes before it shuts off...my phone records its own documentary called "A day in life of a pocket" and it last 5 hours🙄 (+6)

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7 Comments

Dear waiter...don't act like you don't want to hear my problems...You were the one that asked me if "everything was ok"🙄 (+5)

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5 Comments

Most days I try to use positive thinking other days I am very positive that I ain't thinking🙄 (+5)

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8 Comments

I am not really bad at remembering things, I am just really good at forgetting them🙄 (+4)

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1 Comment

If someone says you watch too much television and don't read enough...turn on the subtitles 🙄 (+5)

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23 Comments

I think it is cute when someone says I am pushing their buttons...if that was true I would think at some point I would have found the "mute" button🙄 (+6)

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4 Comments

The only walk of shame I make is when walking back to go get a cart when I realize I can't carry 27 items through the store🙄 (+7)

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2 Comments

Wanna see something impressive,check out this one..........................1🙄 (+2)

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3 Comments

I am so excited...the package I have been waiting for finally came in. Now I got bubble wrap to pop🙄 (+5)

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13 Comments

I love testing out new ideas...just in case you have been wondering,no a ceiling fan does not make a good lettuce shredder🙄 (+3)

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2 Comments

I am impressed with how far record companies will go to fight piracy...like releasing music that ain't nobody gonna steal🙄 (+6)

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10 Comments

I am right about 97% of the time...I honestly don't care about the other 5%🙄 (+5)

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4 Comments

Well I just returned from the worst job fair ever...not only was there no rides but no cotton candy either 🙄 (+6)

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6 Comments

When the thermometer reaches over a 100 "F" no longer stands for Fahrenheit🙄 (+6)

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19 Comments

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