Amirite?
now you can be right wherever you are.

Educational Wisdom or Irritated Parents ? * We spend the first twelve months of our children’s lives teaching them to walk and talk, and the next twenty-four years telling them to sit down and shut up! * Link: https://www.free-funny-jokes.com/funny-parent-jokes.html


7 Comments

All about Grandchildren? * For two solid hours, the lady sitting next to a man on an airplane had told him about her grandchildren. She had even produced a plastic-foldout photo album of all nine of the children. She finally realized that she had dominated the entire conversation on her grandchildren. “Oh, I’ve done all the talking, and I m so sorry. I know you certainly have something to say. Please, tell me… what do you think of my grandchildren?” * Link: https://www.free-funny-jokes.com/funny-parent-jokes.html


7 Comments

The First Child ? * A man speaks frantically into the phone, “My wife is pregnant, and her contractions are only two minutes apart!” “Is this her first child?” the doctor queries. “No, you idiot!” the man shouts. “This is her *husband*!” * Link: https://www.free-funny-jokes.com/funny-parent-jokes.html


10 Comments

Little Kids with Bad Habits? * There was this little kid who had a bad habit of sucking his thumb. His mother finally told him that if he didn’t stop sucking his thumb, he'd get fat. Two weeks later, his mother had her friends over for a game of bridge. The boy points to an obviously pregnant woman and says, “Ah, ha! I know what you’ve been doing!” * Link: https://www.free-funny-jokes.com/funny-parent-jokes.html - Parent Joke 15


8 Comments

A Math Problem ? * Teacher: "Answer this math problem: if your father earns $500 a week and gives half to your mother. What will he have?" Student: "A heart attack." * Link: http://www.laughfactory.com/jokes/relationship-jokes/2


9 Comments

A Justification for Poor School Performance? * Dad: Why is your January report card so bad ? Son: Well, you know how it is. Things are always marked down after Christmas ! * Link: https://www.free-funny-jokes.com/funny-parent-jokes.html


5 Comments

Misbehaving at School ? * Summer vacation was over and Little Johnny returned back to school. Only two days later his teacher phoned his mother to tell her that he was misbehaving. "Wait just a minute," she said. "I had Johnny with me for three months and I never called you once when he misbehaved! Couldn't you show me the same courtesy?" * Link: http://www.jokes4us.com/holidayjokes/vacationjokes.html


10 Comments

Mother ? * A husband, who has six children, begins to call his wife “mother of six” rather than by her first name. The wife, amused at first, chuckles. A few years down the road, the wife has grown tired of this. "Mother of six," he would say, "what’s for dinner tonight? Get me a beer!" She gets very frustrated. Finally, while attending a party with her husband, he jokingly yells out, "Mother of six, I think it's time to go!" The wife immediately shouts back, "I'll be right with you, father of four!" * Link: http://www.laughfactory.com/jokes/relationship-jokes/3


18 Comments

Having a Break? * In a very small alley two trucks driving in opposite directions meet. As the drivers are equally stubborn, neither of them wants to reverse. They angrily look one at the other. Finally, one of them picks up a newspaper and starts reading. The other one politely asks, "When you've finished the paper, will you please bring it over, and let me read it?" * Link: http://www.adrivers.com/trucker-article.php?n=20


6 Comments

What Kind of Contacts ? * A policeman stops a lady and asks for her license. He says "Lady, it says here that you should be wearing glasses." The woman answered "Well, I have contacts." The policeman replied "I don't care who you know! You're getting a ticket!" * Link: http://www.adrivers.com/trucker-article.php?n=9 (+7)

Agree (7) | Disagree (0)
20 Comments

Listening And Speaking Years in Marriage ? * In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen. * Link: http://www.laughfactory.com/jokes/relationship-jokes/5


7 Comments

Driving the Car Out? * The man passed out in a dead faint as he came out of his front door onto the porch. Someone dialed 911. When the paramedics arrived, they helped him regain consciousness and asked if he knew what caused him to faint. “It was enough to make anybody faint,” he said. “My son asked me for the keys to the garage, and instead of driving the car out, he came out with the lawn mower.” * Link: https://www.free-funny-jokes.com/funny-parent-jokes.html


3 Comments

Little Kids * Daughter: I will never learn to spell. Mother: Why? Daughter: The teacher keeps changing the words. * Link: http://jokes.skem9.co.uk/cat/Spelling-jokes/2


8 Comments

About Heredity * Heredity: everyone believes in it until their children act like fools! * Link: https://www.grandparents.com/food-and-leisure/entertainment-and-books/family-jokes


23 Comments

Family or Musical Records? * A woman meant to call a record store but dialed the wrong number and got a private home instead. “Do you have Eyes of Blue and A Love Supreme ?” she asked. “Well, no,” answered the puzzled homeowner. “But I have a wife and eleven children.” “Is that a record?” she inquired. “I don’t think so,” replied the man, “but it’s as close as I want to get.” * Link: https://www.free-funny-jokes.com/funny-parent-jokes.html


3 Comments

Q: How much does it cost to get married, Dad? * A: I don’t know son, I m still paying for it. * Link: https://www.free-funny-jokes.com/funny-parent-jokes.html


24 Comments

Not an Early Bird ? * Father: Son at your age, Winston Churchill used to be up and out for his morning walk at 5 a.m. Son: Dad, at your age, he had become the Prime Minister of England. * Link: https://www.free-funny-jokes.com/funny-parent-jokes.html


12 Comments

Where's the Baby? * For weeks a six-year old lad kept telling his first-grade teacher about the baby brother or sister that was expected at his house. One day the mother allowed the boy to feel the movements of the unborn child. The six-year old was obviously impressed, but made no comment. Furthermore, he stopped telling his teacher about the impending event. The teacher finally sat the boy on her lap and said, “Tommy, whatever has become of that baby brother or sister you were expecting at home?” Tommy burst into tears and confessed, “I think Mommy ate it!” * Link: https://www.free-funny-jokes.com/funny-parent-jokes.html


7 Comments

Not the Student's Fault ? * Mrs. Filmore returned home from a business trip and asked her husband, “How did Greg do on his history exam?” “Oh, not so good,” he replied. “But it wasn’t his fault. They asked him about things that happened before he was born!” * Link: https://www.free-funny-jokes.com/funny-parent-jokes.html


3 Comments

Wishing All a Happy, Smiling Valentine's Day ! * Ready for a Joke ? * Man: "Honey, on this Valentine's Day, I want to tell you something... I'm not rich like Jack. I don't have a mansion like Russell. I don't have a Porsche like Martin. But I do love you and I want to marry you." Woman: "Oh, dear, I love you too! What was that you said about Martin?" *** Link: https://www.rd.com/joke/hes-got-fast-car/


7 Comments

Dad's Fault ? * At dinner, Seth said to his father, “Dad, I got into trouble at school today and it’s all your fault.” “How’s that?” asked the master of the house. “Remember I asked you how much $500,000 was?” “Yeah, I remember.” “Well, a helluva lot ain’t the right answer.” * Link: https://www.free-funny-jokes.com/funny-parent-jokes.html


11 Comments

Hearing Problems ? * Honey, said Mrs. Beldon to her husband, “Lester’s teacher says he ought to have an encyclopedia.” “Encyclopedia, my eye!” exclaimed Beldon. “Let him walk to school like I did.” * Link: https://www.free-funny-jokes.com/funny-parent-jokes.html


14 Comments

School Doctor: Have you ever had trouble with appendicitis? Fred: Only when I tried to spell it. *** Link: http://jokes.skem9.co.uk/cat/Spelling-jokes/2


7 Comments

No longer a child? * Murphy said to his daughter, “I want you home by eleven o'clock.” She said, “But Father, I'm no longer a child!” He said, “I know, that’s why I want you home by eleven.” * Link: https://www.free-funny-jokes.com/funny-parent-jokes.html


7 Comments

Goin' bananas? * First witch: Here's a banana if you can spell it. * Second witch: I can spell banana. I just don't know when to stop. *** Link: http://jokes.skem9.co.uk/cat/Spelling-jokes/2


10 Comments

Next Page >